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"I actually wasn't that stupid!"
"Well, what could i say? Such an idiotic manner you displayed, little plump head..Not really impressive aren't you?"
"Ow, what then? Pretty much of a "show" wasn't it? For you at least, I supposed."
"Quite decent to be called what really did entertain me for such a long non-existent time.."
"Grr! I think it's already enough of you, right? Making fun of me like that!"
"Why?" He tilts his head to one side. "I really do enjoy it,though". He stood, stated, grinning at me like a big stupid idiotic moron.
Undeniably looked 'mischievous' as he obviously not even trying. Well, 'what can we say?' looked 'oh, so mesmerizing' in that way. Stupid devilish 'heart-stopping' killing smile he had! Stupid butterfly in my stomach! Fluttering around like crazy!
D.A.R.N.I.T! WHAT IN THE HELL DID I JUST SAY? 'i mean..think'.
My mind is squeaking like the ultimate loser of all time.
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I need opinion on whether it's fine to continue this work..furthermore about the form of it, novel, visual novel, or comic? Thanks a bunch! (I know it's really short, i'm sorry)
© 2012 - 2024 Qyrnth
Comments3
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I forgot to tell you in that other comment, but since I'm here:
That "D.A.R.N.I.T." is kind of inappropriate for someone's thoughts. Who thinks like that? Dee ay err en tee eye tee? Or maybe D dot A dot...
I don't think you should leave it like that.
Always edit your work before you post it, and ask yourself questions about your characters so they don't turn out Mary Sue-ish, flat and silly.
And also, I don't think someone would correct themselves while they think. I do, sometimes, but I don't think the "I mean..." to it. It's also silly.
That "D.A.R.N.I.T." is kind of inappropriate for someone's thoughts. Who thinks like that? Dee ay err en tee eye tee? Or maybe D dot A dot...
I don't think you should leave it like that.
Always edit your work before you post it, and ask yourself questions about your characters so they don't turn out Mary Sue-ish, flat and silly.
And also, I don't think someone would correct themselves while they think. I do, sometimes, but I don't think the "I mean..." to it. It's also silly.